It Wasn't Meant To Be This Way
by BetterThanRealityFF
Summary: When Voldemort is victorious at the battle of Hogwarts, Hermione escapes with only one person for company and it's the last person she'd have chosen. What happens when the Professor she used to hate becomes the one stable thing in her life? Can they rewrite their relationship? More importantly can they rewrite history? Eventual HG/SS shipping.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - OK so I massively ship this pair and I've wanted to write a HG/SS story for ages but only just got round to it. Got a pretty good idea of where this story is going and I'm really excited to write for all you lovely people out there!**

I wish I knew how I came to be here, or rather, how we came to be here. But what happened last yesterday passed in such a blur I'm struggling to piece it all together. The three of us in the shrieking shack is the last thing I remember fully, the rest I'm having to piece together from flashbacks.

Xxx Flashback xxX

_I pressed two fingers into the area around his neck searching for a pulse, and felt the weakest of beats._

"_You two go on ahead, do what he said and take it to the penseive. I'm going to stay here, see what I can do."_

"_Mione, he killed Dumbledore. He's dead anyway."_

"_No, Ron, there's a pulse. Professor Snape taught us for 6 years, Dumbledore trusted him. I can't just walk away and leave him here to die."_

Xxx

From the middle of 6th Year, when Harry had first told us about the Horcruxes, I'd been assembling things that I thought might be needed at some point in the future. I wasn't proud of it but I started stealing from Professor Snape's stores, just like we had for the Polyjuice potion all those years ago. It started with just stealing ingredients, and then I'd brew in the room of requirement while the boys were at Quidditch practice. Then one day I spotted a small vial at the back of a shelf while I searched for some Murtlap tentacle, anti-venin, and instinctively I grabbed it and put it in my bag. And thank God I had! I remember scrambling around in my bag for it in the shrieking shack, and I remember how rapidly his pulse went up after I poured the potion down his throat. I knew it wouldn't be enough, and that's where the next flashback comes in. I remember taking him to the hospital wing, because that was my only option.

I stayed with him, I remember that much, until Voldemort bought Harry's body back from the Forest. When Harry rolled out of Hagrid's arms and the battle resumed, I raced back to help Madam Pomfrey defend the hospital wing. Next thing I knew I had apparated to the Forest of Dean, with a handful of potions and a half-alive Professor Snape propped against my shoulder.

I can only assume that Hogwarts had fallen, and Harry too. A strange image flickers in my mind of Death Eaters parading around the halls, killing the survivors with random bursts of green lights here and there. And, oh, they'd got Madame Pomfrey!

Xxx Flashback xxX

"_He's won. I'm so sorry, my dear, but Harry lost. Go! Take the Professor and get yourselves away. Take these potions, anti-venin and blood replenishing potions, he'll need them both twice a day."_

"_But Madame Pomfrey, how will I get out? You can't disapparate in the grounds of Hogwarts.."_

"_You can when you're with the Headmaster, it's one of the privileges, and as far as I know Professor Snape is still technically the Headmaster."_

_We hurried to get him out of bed and propped against my shoulder, for a very skinny man he was fairly heavy._

"_Good luck, Miss Granger." As I turned on my heel there was a final flash of green and a piercing scream that suggested Madame Pomfrey would not be as lucky as I._

Xxx

I don't know what made me pick this spot, it was one of the places we'd come on the Horcrux hunt, and it was the first place that popped into my mind. I placed Professor Snape's body on the ground as gently as possible and set to putting the tent up. The time it took to assemble properly, and get Professor Snape settled on a bed, I began to get nervous that I hadn't set the wards. Of course when there were three of us, it was much easier.

Thankfully we were deep enough into the Forest that only muggles would find us, and all they'd see would be a young girl camping. Even so, as soon as he was settled and I'd given him the potions, I set to work ensuring that we'd be safe overnight. I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept, I was in no fit state to stay on watch, but I was confident enough that the wards would be enough.

Sinking onto the bed in the room next to Professor Snape's I allowed the tears that had been threatening all day to fall. Harry had died, he must have done. Hogwarts, the place I'd called home and that I'd grown up in, was probably nothing more than rubble. Who knows who else had been killed? I guessed I'd never know. This was my life now. On the run with nothing but a tent and a man who'd hated me.

I must have fallen asleep because I was suddenly jolted awake but sunlight bursting into the tent. It took a while to adjust to my surroundings, and the memories coming flooding back were painful. Checking my watch I knew that it was about time for Professor Snape to have another lot of potions. As I poured the liquids down his throat, being careful that he didn't choke, I was aware that we'd soon run out. There was only 3 of each left, meaning that if he didn't wake up by tomorrow evening, he most likely wouldn't make it.

Banishing that thought from my mind, I set to work out in the Forest. Having been here before I knew roughly where I could find berries, not that I was particularly hungry but I knew I'd need to eat to get some strength back. The battle had knocked a lot out of me, and when Professor Snape woke up he'd need food as well. Second on my to-do-list was to clean myself up. I was covered by dirt and dust from in the battle, and I felt like I was covered in blood. The blood of everyone that died.

And that was my to-do-list completely exhausted. Only then did it hit me how alone and useless I really was. All my life, I'd had something to do, but here there was nothing. My education was over, the battle was over, so what was my purpose? I had to heal Professor Snape, that's what. But apart from the potions there was little I could do, I was a girl not a St Mungos healer. Reaching in my bag for the Charms book, I dedicated my time to learning the small chapter on diagnostic spells. The collection of berries began to dwindle and I began to ration them, only eating one when I'd reached the end of a page.

Reaching the end of the chapter I realised that even if any of these spells were useful, I wouldn't feel comfortable attempting them for the first time without any help. Instead I assessed him manually, checking his pulse and temperature. Both seemed fine so I started cleaning him up. In the Hospital Wing all the focus had been on closing the wound and getting as much of the venom out as possible, now he was more stable I decided to clean the wound as best I could.

I started by opening his robes, exposing a plain white shirt underneath. Slowly, I undid the buttons, my hands shaking as I did do. It just felt so intimate; I know if he was awake he'd push me away as hard as he could. His skin was deathly pale, and I was unsure whether that was his normal colour or due to the blood loss.

I could have cleaned it quickly with Scourgify, but magic made me nervous, I thought that maybe they'd be able to track us. Instead I settled for cool water and a sponge that I transfigured out of a pillowcase. With each wipe the dried blood washed away and the Professor looked more normal. The wounds still looked horrendous and would leave permanent scars, but at least it wouldn't be infected now.

I buttoned up his shirt, but couldn't bring myself to leave his bedside. Even though he wasn't talking, the company was comforting. So for an hour or so I sat next to him and talked to him. And when I ran out of things to say I read to him from a Potions textbook in my bag. If, by any chance, he could hear me, he'd be bored stiff.

Mid-afternoon I sat outside the tent enjoying the cool breeze. Evidently last night's sleep hadn't fully refreshed me as soon my eyelids began to droop and I allowed myself to slip into a light doze. What felt like moments later, I was yanked out of my sleep by grunts coming from inside the tent. Rushing into Professor Snape's room a beaming smile covered my face as I saw that he was awake and struggling to sit up.

"No, professor, you need to stay still. Don't struggle."

Turning his head to face me, the terror that was in his eyes changed to confusion as he struggled to adapt to his new surroundings.

"Granger?"

Completely abandoning my no-magic plan, I filled a cup with water and handed it to Professor Snape who had somehow dragged himself into a sitting position. Silence hung between us as he gulped the whole lot down.

"Granger, you've got a lot of explaining to do."


	2. Chapter 2 - Author Note

Authors Note:

Dear Readers/Followers

Apologies for the lack of updates for my stories. I've been doing a year of training for work, and I have exams coming up, and so I've found it hard to find time for writing.

Please be patient, I assure you that I have no plans to abandon this story. In fact, although I haven't been writing, I've still been brainstorming and have a really good idea of where this story is going.

So this story is officially on hiatus, for the next few months at least. From June onwards I will hopefully be free!

Watch this space =)


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N – Yay I've finally got back to writing! I'm very sorry that it's been this long but unfortunately, as much as I'd love to write for a living, I have to work etc and writing had to take a back seat. But I'm back, and not only have I written this chapter I'm also halfway through the next! Fingers crossed updates will be more regular, enjoy =)**_

"I'm so sorry, professor, Harry lost. It's all over."

"Well I hardly thought you'd bought me on a celebratory camping trip.."

A near death experience but he still had his wit and sarcasm.. Unfortunately. His voice was raspy and it sounded as if each word pained him. Serves him right, being rude to me like that after what I'd done.

I'd saved his life. But he looked awful. The blood replenishing potion had clearly done the trick but his skin was still as white as paper, and his brow was still covered in sweat as his body carried on the fight against the infection. He looked frail, a fraction of the professor who had once given me nightmares.

"Are you going to sit and stare at me all night or could you make yourself useful and tell me what the hell happened?"

XxX *

"There's a reason I can hear the Horcruxes, you must have worked it out by now."

Tears pricked at my eyes, I must admit the thought had crossed my mind more than once, but there are some things that hurt so much they are better ignored.

"Harry, please tell me you're not going out there. There's no hope if you do.."

"And there's no hope if I don't, Hermione. I'm a Horcrux, even if we kill the snake, Voldemort can't die unless I do."

It was the most painful goodbye, death is cruel at any time but even crueller when you know it's coming. I wanted to cry, scream, needing to vent my anger and sadness in any way possible. But Harry deserved better, a 17 year old boy accepting his fate and not a tear in sight. A 17 year old boy walking to his death.

"How's Snape?"

I had to smile, the position he's in and yet still asking about others. "He'll be fine, I got him to the best place, I'll tell him all about you when he wakes up."

"Tell him I'm sorry, for ever doubting his side in this war, I should have known better than to doubt where Professor Dumbledore put his trust. And Hermione, thank him for me."

I remember Ron snaking his arm around me, a futile attempt at comfort. "I don't know what we'll do without you, mate."

"Kill the snake. Don't waste this chance."

And then he was gone. The last time I saw that scruffy black hair, the glasses, the scar that had given hope to so many. I don't know what I expected, death was death right? Yet there was still a part of me that hoped, prayed even, there was one more miracle left in his story. That somewhere, deep in the afterlife Professor Dumbledore was still watching over us and still had magic in him, then the sheer naivety of that idea bought my hope crashing down.

XxX

"He never came back after that. When the death eaters stormed the castle, Ron and Neville went to join the rest of the Order, they were meant to kill the snake."

"You trusted those nitwits, Mr Weasley and Longbottom, with a job as important as killing the snake?! Those dunderheads were two of the most hopeless wizards I've had the misfortune of teaching, yet you put the fate of the wizarding world in their hands?! So much for the brightest witch of your age.."

Pure anger. How dare he say those things about Ron, my Ron?! While admittedly he wasn't the most intelligent of us, he was loyal and would fight for his friends and family until the very end. And as far as Neville was concerned, he was far braver than I could ever claim to be. A true Gryffindor. And yet, as insulting as he was, I couldn't help but notice the back-handed compliment thrown in.

"It wasn't just them, it was the whole of the Order. I should never have left them.."

"Because of course, one witch would have made all the difference.. Where on earth are we, anyway?"

"The Forest of Dean. It's one of the places we came, on the hunt. First place I thought of.."

He yawned.

"I should leave you, you're exhausted," I continued. "The water I set to boil should be done by now, I can bring you a tea if you'd like."

"I don't need a carer, Miss Granger," he snapped. "I daresay that one more dose of potions overnight should suffice and I'll be gone by morning. You can go now."

"Yes Sir."

I left, purposefully not pulling the curtain that enclosed his room behind me. I heard a grunt, presumably him struggling to get out of bed (doesn't need a carer, indeed!) and then the sharp sounds of the curtain being yanked across.

"You will do well to remember that I need my privacy."

"Of course, Professor. But if you plan to leave tomorrow then it really shouldn't be a problem for much longer," I replied as sweetly as I could manage.

And then all of a sudden the silence returned, and with it the crushing reminder that I was all alone, or as good as. The key was to stay busy, I knew that. My grandfather died when I was 9 and I remember our house was the most spotless it had ever been. My mother cleaned for days on end, keeping busy to keep the pain at bay - at least that's what I heard her tell my father. But there was no cleaning to be done here, and after re-setting the spells for about the 8th time today there was nothing to be done except sit outside the tent and wonder.

Harry was the only one I knew for certain was gone, the others I could only guess. Ron, Oh Ron. The one guy I'd ever fallen for, and that adrenaline fuelled kiss we shared during the last hours together.. It would stay with me forever. I prayed that Ron's blood status would spare him, and the rest of his family of course, but in reality I knew that blood traitors would be treated as harshly as muggle borns.

Neville, Ginny, Luna.. All the other students that stayed behind to protect their school, their home. And what would become of Hogwarts now? The whole castle would no doubt be enveloped in the emerald green of Slytherin, once it was rebuilt of course. That vile man would be headmaster, and it made my blood boil to think of him sat in the same chair that Professor Dumbledore used to sit on.

Mindlessly I picked at some of the berries piled next to me, noticing that the rations were running low and I struggled to remember when I last ate proper food. Though I supposed it was something I'd have to get used to, I could hardly stroll into the Leaky Cauldron and order a full meal.

Yet I guess I should consider myself lucky I had any supplies at all. When the snatchers caught us and took us to Malfoy manor, we'd left the tent behind and quite a few things in it. All we'd taken with us were our wands, and Harry's invisibility cloak that was safely tucked in my new bag. I was eternally grateful that Ginny and Neville had thought to collect supplies and stash them in the room of requirement, though I'm not entirely sure where the tent came from. It wasn't quite the size of our old one but was ample for 2 people who wanted to stay out of each other's way, and since Professor Snape was insistent on leaving, it would definitely be fine for just me.

My eyelids began to close and I stifled a yawn. Since we'd left the school I'd tried to stay awake on watch, and I'd been tending to Professor Snape at random points throughout the night and so I'd not slept much and it was beginning to show. The protective spells had held so far, and I supposed that once my Professor had left in the morning, I'd have no choice but to sleep throughout the night so I scrambled up from where I was sitting against the tree and headed in to bed.

Placing my wand as close to me as possible on the bed side table, I think I fell asleep pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow. For such a light sleeper I must have been in a very deep sleep for I didn't stir as Professor Snape left, and when I awoke in the early morning there was no sign of him. The curtains to his room were drawn open and his bed was empty, though at least he was tidy enough to make it before he left. I could see no note, good-bye or thank you, though quite why I expected that courtesy from him I have no idea. He might not have been a death eater like we all thought but he was still unpleasant, vile even, and part of me was glad I didn't have to share this space with him any longer.

And so I was alone again, and this is how it would stay potentially forever.

I'd never really understood the phrase "the silence was deafening" at least not until now. The sound of the water boiling for my morning cup of tea filled the tent, which all of a sudden felt very empty. Grabbing the map I began to plot out places I could go. Places from the horcrux hunt felt too obvious, plus going back there without Ron and Harry would be near unbearable. Going anywhere alone would probably be unbearable.

All of a sudden, a noise from outside the tent pulled me out of concentration. I wasn't alone any longer.


End file.
